For Readers

You may be wondering, “Is NICE TO COME HOME TO a good candidate for my book group?”

Well, the answer is … YES!

NICE TO COME HOME TO will give your book group plenty to talk about. It deals with issues many women are facing today: the challenges of looking for love after 35; how having children changes us completely; the demands of the heart vs. the wise counsel of the head. It’s about surviving on your own and figuring out what, and who, you love. It is, above all, about how we make and maintain families.

The novel also deals with city life, leaving your family of origin and making a new family, and reconnecting with people from your past. It’s full of gay men, nasty cats, and cross-dressers, fabric lust, dingy basement bars, and other little obsessions of mine. I’m happy to participate in book group discussions via phone, electronically, or in person, if you happen to be in my neck of the woods.

Here are some ideas to get you going:

Discussion Starters

1. How do you feel about a woman who would “settle” for a stable, if unexciting, marriage? When Pru suddenly loses the job for which she’s sacrificed everything, she very nearly convinces herself to marry her flaky, depressive boyfriend, Rudy Fisch. While the feminist revolution was supposed to answer once and forever the question of whether we should marry for love or for money, we all know women who have “settled” for security. The Atlantic Monthly just published a piece called “Marry Him! The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough,” (read it here!) encouraging women to get what they can while the gettin’s good. Good advice, or mercenary dating tactics?

2. What do we owe our children? Meanwhile, Pru’s younger sister, Patsy, a single mother, has also been putting her life on hold. When she meets groovy emergency room doctor Jacob, sparks fly, toes curl, and fireworks explode in the night sky. Patsy’s romantic imagination is captivated. Patsy’s ready to give up everything to pursue a life with Jacob before really knowing him, dragging her father-starved daughter along with her. Patsy may even understand that Annali is half the attraction. Are mommies allowed to have lives of their own, or is Patsy acting irresponsibly?

3. How would you characterize Pru and Patsy’s relationship? Is it a realistic portrayal of sisters? Are there ways in which they are alike?

4. When I began writing the book, I wanted to try updating Jane Austen’s Sense & Sensibility, where economic realities impact romantic ideals. In S&S, the comely Elinor and Marianne are suddenly rendered “unmarriageable” when their father dies, leaving his estate to the sisters’ half-brother, who is quickly convinced by his wife not to help the sisters financially. What, if anything, makes women today “unmarriageable”? Is this even something we should be talking about??

5. How did you feel about John Owen’s decision regarding his marriage? Was he right to do what he did? How did you feel about Pru’s reaction?

6. What’s up with that Jacob, anyway? What makes a guy like that tick? How did you feel about Patsy’s decisions concerning him? And concerning Annali’s father, Jimmy Roy?

7. What is Big Whoop’s function in the novel? How does Pru’s relationship with him change over the course of the book, and what internal states might that represent?

JUST FOR FUN

A super-fun project, in my mind, would be to read S&S along with NTCHT and discuss how money and love intersect and influence each other, in early 19th century England and today. You could also watch the yummy Emma Thompson version of S&S on DVD and eat pound cake and drink Baily’s, sometimes dipping the pound cake into the Baily’s, and forego the whole book discussion thing. Just make sure to invite me.