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  1. Turbo Jam

    July 2, 2006 by Andrew

    Construction has begun! You can follow our progress at Lenox Internal Medicine, the blog! Are we the first medical practice with a blog? Possibly. But you know us. Just can’t keep our yappers shut, around here.

    We also had some exciting news on the book front this weekend. Nothing definitive yet, but keep your fingers crossed…

    And Janie was exposed to her first info-mercial this morning. Just ASK her about Turbo-Jam. Honestly, I’ve never seen her so excited before. She kept running in to tell us ALL the details. “It works your lower body and your upper body and your ab!” “It helps you lose the old body that kills ya!” “It’s not yoga and it’s not sitting around on the floor for fifteen hours!!!” She found Andrew upstairs in a towel, brushing his teeth, and said, “Daddy, you should do Turbo-Jam!”

    Maybe we can get her a commission.

  2. Cavalcade of Au Pairs

    June 19, 2006 by rschamess

    Well, Xtina is flying to Romania, and Alisa is flying to New York from Bangkok, via Japan. I figure they should cross somewhere over Reykuvik. Or however you spell that crazy-ass city.

    Janie and I took Xtina to Boston, then went to see Annie at the Boston Opera House. It was really wonderful, and John Shuck played Daddy Warbucks! You can’t beat that, for $24 per ticket.

    Then Janie had her ballet recital yesterday afternoon. She was great, and even pushed her way to the front of the stage at the very end of the dance. Just like her momma told her to!

  3. My Friend Anahid

    May 21, 2006 by rschamess

    …was totally fabulous as Roxie in a local production of Chicago, which was saw last night.  She’s done like one piece of theater before, which you would never know.  Really, she just rocked — she was on stage practically every minute, singing, dancing, mugging, just an incredible amount of energy in that girl, I can’t even imagine.  You can’t watch anyone else, when she’s up there.  Her bod looked fantastic — honestly, like Madonna, in her sculpted-body years.  And she’s got two little kids at home!   Please!  We were in awe, watching her.  I can’t imagine how many hours of practice and rehearsal went into it, and how she just had the sheer guts to get up on stage and belt out all these great numbers, wearing practically nuthin’.  A big shout-out for Anahid.  We were really blown away.  Off to Broadway, girl!

  4. Gay Marriage

    May 20, 2006 by rschamess

    Oh, I know it’s so trite to blog The Onion. But I’m a blank, this morning.

    Massachusetts Supreme Court Orders All Citizens To Gay Marry

    BOSTON—Justices of the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled 5-2 Monday in favor of full, equal, and mandatory gay marriages for all citizens. The order nullifies all pre-existing heterosexual marriages and lays the groundwork for the 2.4 million compulsory same-sex marriages that will take place in the state by May 15.

    “This is a victory, not only for our state, but for America,” Festa said. “Simply allowing consenting gay adults the same rights as heterosexuals was never the point. By forcing everyone in the state into a gay marriage, we’re setting the stage for our more pressing hidden agendas: mandatory sodomy and, in due time, the legalization of bestiality and pedophilia.”

  5. Thank G-D for PBS

    May 18, 2006 by rschamess

    Up at 6:30 with pre-schooler, why not blog? See, I can’t even form real sentences yet. But I haven’t written a rambly update in a long time.
    I don’t know if you’re following the action at our Practice Blog, and actually it looks like Andrew hasn’t updated it yet, but the space we thought we had has fallen through… yet again. For the third time, this landlord pulled the rug out from under us. He didn’t actually have 1400 square feet of space — he had 1100! Good thing we had to pay our architect a thousand bucks, to figure this out. Now, for those of you who don’t know about doctor’s offices, you can have a doctor’s office in 1100 sq ft of space. It just won’t have any examining rooms, is all.

    So we’ve taken our little practice elsewhere, thank you very much. It’s farther up Rt 7, in a small mixed-use building with a funky roof, between a Subway and Berkshire Lighting. It’s huge, 1600 sq ft, and in a great location, especially for Andrew’s exisiting patient population. And we love the owner, who also owns the lighting shop. You get the feeling of being partners with the guy. And does he know lighting! Which will come in handy, as our space has no windows…good for a doctor’s office, but a little hard on the staff…Anyway, it’s not as lovely as the previous location, but screw the previous location.
    And I finished a rewrite of my book, yay! Sent it off to the lovely Ms. Hochman, who is also now representing my friend Jamie Holland. Why no link to her blog, you ask? Still the only writer on earth with no web site. She’s been too busy writing her novel, which you will see in bookstores everywhere soon. It’s called The Box of Secrets but I want her to change it to More Amazing Facts About America’s Dairyland. It’s a “teen” book!

    So, obviously, I have to get working on the next book. No rest for the fragile ego!

    Oh, and since getting an agent, I’ve been on a shopping spree: Three pairs of shoes, two T-shirts, and a sweater (on sale). I’m feeling HORRIBLE about it, but doing nothing but rewriting the book for the past 4 months has left me a little fat.

  6. New Yorker Cartoons

    May 13, 2006 by rschamess

    I thought this week’s New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest was particularly hard!  I finally came up with, “Actually, I’ve always thought of you more as a spring.”

    Anyone else??

  7. Too Much Candyland

    May 9, 2006 by rschamess

    A classic Meredith email, after her beach vacation with her family:

    I have played 8,453 games of Candyland.
    Did you know that they’ve replaced the Root Beer Float
    with Queen Frostine? I hate her.

  8. “You’d run over your own mother to get one…”

    April 26, 2006 by rschamess

    Okay, the baby really wanted a taste of my beer, so I let her have a little from the bottle. Of course she dribbled a huge mouthful of it all over herself. She was naked from the bath, so without thinking about it much I just bent down and slurped the beer off her belly. Well! It was a lot of beer!

    Could somebody count how many ways I’ve just permanently traumatized my child, please?

  9. MY Rules for Living

    April 26, 2006 by rschamess

    My friends George & Morty’s little girl posted this on her door. Really, I think it expresses the deepest wishes of us all:


    1. Only I’m the teacher

    2. share

    3. Knock First

    4. ask before you use Markers and dry Erase board

    5. HAVE FUN!

  10. The Daily Ways to Get Fired

    April 17, 2006 by rschamess

    From The Daily Om (which Paulette says should be called The Daily Oy) — I was right there with it, until the last paragraph:

    Brief Respite
    The Importance of Napping

    In order to fully enjoy the benefits of napping, you may need to give yourself permission to nap. Feeling guilty about snoozing or worrying about your to-do list won’t do you much good when you are trying to take a nap because your thoughts or feelings will keep you awake. Try to nap at the same time each day, and use an alarm clock to ensure that you don’t sleep for too long. If you go to an office, try crawl under your desk for a nap. Learning to nap and enjoy its restorative benefits can help you wake up restored, rejuvenated, and ready for the rest of your day.