Keys To Happiness

Perfect happiness: I finally figured it out.  Let me tell you, it’s not about embracing the moment.  Or living as if it’s your last day on the planet.  Or any of those things that you learned from the seven people you knew in kindergarten or from a dog named Marley or an old guy named Moby.  Or whatever.  For me, anyway, perfect happiness is in having figured out, after all these years, DINNER.

Remember that I live with two children who only eat white things, and a vegematarian who routinely cuts out new things from his diet for fun and refuses beans.  Then there’s the little matter of my migraines, which seem to be triggered by yes, wait for it: SOY PRODUCTS.  So, unavailable to me as chef are: Pork, beef, chicken, duck, turkey, veal, beans, fish, veg burgers, tofu, tempeh, tofurkey, tochicken, tosquab, and topheasant.  What, exactly, does that leave us for dinner?

For a while I tried to cook inventive, creative vegetable-based dishes.  The fun of that wore off pretty quickly.  I should also point out these aspects of dinnertime hell: I have a kitchen smaller than a pair of size 14 jeans, the kids choose this hour to be their crankiest, and by this time I’ve done some substantial digging in the back of the fridge for something cold and boozy, if you get my drift.

So here’s what I’ve finally discovered: Soup and salad.  Every night.  Without variation.  I need only a few things: Veg bouillon cubes, salad greens, and veggies.  Garlic, bottled dressing, boiled eggs, and I’m set.  That’s it.  I just try to mix up the veggies, but not too hard.  One or two veggies per soup.  Pureed or clumpy.  Sometimes I throw some nuts and seeds in my salad so we get our protein.  The kids, as usual, eat leftover pasta or scrambled eggs or they just breathe air, which seems to account for a substantial portion of their nutrition.   I don’t think about it, I don’t plan ahead, I barely even pay attention to what I’m doing.  Soup, and salad.  And I can do it half-baked.

Oh and I finally have our money under control.  I made a budget, using the budget spreadsheet that came with the copy of Word I cribbed from Dave.  And I keep track of my daily spending using a nifty app called Ace Software, on my iPhone!  That’s all, and I didn’t even have to go out and buy white gloves to wear to my banker’s.  No stupid Quicken, no envelopes, no ledger.  It’s been two whole weeks, and I haven’t bounced a check so far!

So there you have it: Soup and salad, every night, and a budget.  Oh and I’m letting my kids watch about 10-12 hours of television a day.  That’s helping, too.